Sunday, August 5, 2012


Hello. This is another perception of mine :)

First, I have no idea what people will think of me once they read this. Some may take it negatively, and against what I'm gonna talk about. But nevertheless, I hope people will respect my opinion as much as I will respect yours.

Second, I'm not against it in any way. This is what my 22-years-old self's thought and believe in.

And third, keep on reading!


If you used to fb-ing, twittering, youtube-ing or any social networking (you name it), you will used to get surrounding with lovey dovey words like 'ohhh, i'm waiting for my future imam', 'i want a halal relationship with you', 'i want to love you for the sake of Allah' bla bla and stuff. And not to be surprised, this words comes from young generation, starting from school student until college/university students. 

Sebelum kau nak melenting tak tentu pasal, let me remind you that I'M NOT AGAINST IT. I mean, yeah who doesn't want to get married? Who doesn't want to get HALAL relationship? And who doesn't want to be in love for the sake of our creator, Allah SWT? This is actually a good sign that young generation nowadays are looking for halal way to be in a relationship. No more couple and stuff. But this so-called HALAL isn't good when these young generation forget about other thing beside marriage, that is the RESPONSIBILITY. I'm not saying that you can't get married in early age, but how sure you can handle the situation? The situation of being a wife, daughter-in-law, relationship with your husband's relatives, and being a mother? And the list goes on.

Ask yourself, can you even handle yourself? How about your time management? If you aren't able to divide your time properly, how sure you can divide your time between your work and family? How about financial management then?

Some may say 'Okay worry not. Allah will help us once we get married'. But only when you're working. What if you're still a student? Duit pun mak bapak bagi lagi. As a children, we should ease them, not troubling them with our marriage thingy. Marriage suppose to be between husband and wife. Do not put the family in marriage.

What I'm trying to point out here is, stop searching for your 'prince charming'. You can only do so AFTER you have a good relationship with Allah SWT. Love HIM, love yourself, and love your family first. Why I stress on these three things is because; Allah is the one and only who create us. Without HIM, we're nothing. Next, LOVE YOURSELF. Because you're worthwhile. If you don't love yourself, you can't expect people to love you even more than you love yourself. That explains why most teenagers commit suicide, eat pills and stuff because of heart break. Because they don't love themselves.  It's not even worth it, to cry over a person who doesn't put us in their priority. So called right guy will come for you in any time, you just have to keep faith and bersangka baik lah dengan Allah. 

I believe that's what Irma Hasmie applies in her life. She stops being in love with people, and rather be in love with Allah. Sebab itu lah ada pepatah yang mengatakan 'Kasih manusia sering bermusim, sayang manusia tiada abadi. Kasih Tuhan tiada bertepi, sayang tuhan janjinya pasti'. It took years for her to be what she is now. I think we should really take her as an icon. She's improving herself for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of hoping 'when i improve myself, i hope i can find a better guy'. No please. If you think like that then there is no way you'll be better, and even find a better partner. So, always renew our intention.

Let me tell you this. I used to be a person who talk about things like 'Aww, sweetnya love after nikah. Full of barakah. I wanna be like them too','Ohh syoknya kahwin, having halal relationship' and blabla. But then my mother said this which at first, offend me so much.

"Mama masa umur macam Tika tak pernah langsung fikir pasal kahwin. Mama hanya fikir pasal kahwin after mama bekerja. Masa mama umur macam Tika mama hanya fikir pasal study je,"


Memang terasa gila aku masa tu. She sounded so angry at that time. Time tu mulalah macam macam aku fikir. Zaman mama tak sama dengan zaman sekarang lah, mama tak sporting la, she doesn't understand me la, bla bla. But then now I realized what she said was true. I was berangan of having happy marriage, but then I never think of ups and downs in marriage. I was berangan of having husband, so called imam who may guide me to the right path, but never think of what if i never gonna meet my imam? I mean, what if we die before we can even get married? I know this may sound scary to you, but please. Real talk. Kita ni entah mati muda ke tua. We may die in any time.

Second, what if tak ada jodoh? Ohhh minta jauh. Cara aku cakap ni macam aku ni jenis fikir negative je kan but no. What I'm trying to say is stop to think too much about it. Better focus more on other important things in life, such as closer to Allah, with our family. That is why I stress on three things, Allah, family and YOU. Cause that's what matters. Please. Have a good connection with your family. To your dad. Your mom. Your siblings. Cause these people is actually the one and only people(s) on earth who will accept the goods, the bads YOU. They're your flesh blood. I tell you this because I've personally experience that moment when I have nobody in life. Only family. YES. Even not all friends that you can really count on and always be there for you nowadays. Even still we need friends in life, but try to be independent by not fully relying on them. Cause at that time when they're not there for you, time tu lah baru you will learn a lesson. BIG ONE.

InsyaAllah, if you succeed; you will meet your partner who is meant for you since in Luh Mahfuz (Haha. Sooo cliche right). And of course at the time when you're ready. But still i have to say congrats to those who get married at early age, eventhough you're still a student. I'm sure that Allah put HIS believe on you that you can handle the marriage eventhough you're still young. Age is just a number anyway :) 

As for myself, I'm still naive and still, in the process of learning. Everyday is indeed a process of learning. In life, we learn everyday. From what we experience, from what we see from other people. As we grow older, I think we should understand better. And face it, eventhough it may be hard. And I also believe as we grow older, masalah itu sebenarnya makin lama makin besar. If we can't handle the situation before nikah, how can we even handle the after's?

Paling tak tahan bila sekarang TV disogokkan dengan 'happily ever after' dramas. Oh yeah, especially Korean Drama where people go crazy about until they wish of having the same love storyline as in the movie. It's a very typical story. Handsome guy with a beautiful girl which of course they are in love with one another and the best part is when the guy do things to show his love. You name it, I'm not watching TV that often now. You know Dejavu di Kinabalu? Okay it's not Korean Drama but it has the same storyline as other love drama. I wasn't watching the drama everyday but then when I started to watch, I was like WTH?? Putus cinta doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Siap nak bunuh diri bagai. Histeria. Malay drama pun dah macam Korea dah aku tengok. Oh yeah dulu Vanilla Coklat. Get real. What you watch in drama doesn't  always happening to everybody.  

So please. Let's improving ourselves, for ourselves, for Allah. Stop being in fairytale. 'Today was a fairytale' only happening when reality is better than your dream. Wake up from your dream, be in reality and make it better. 

Lastly, sorry if I hurt you in any way. I'm not expecting people to agree with my opinion. Everybody has their own way of perception. Just do what ever that you believe, is right for you. 

Wow, this is a very long post. Sorry it's not well written. I'm working on my writing skills. 

Let Allah decide :) HE knows better.

Here's the videos that I recommend you to watch. Watch, and learn something from the video.
Yang baik dari Allah, yang kurang dari saya sendiri.


Twins said...

you got it right farha.nice entry btw.
maybe zaman sekarang orang tgk ramai yg kawin muda semua nak kawin muda padahal diorang tak fikir life after marriage tu sendiri, mcm tanggungjawab seorang isteri n ibu.kalau nak kawin biarlah betul2 bersedia mentally n physically.kalau ye pun bercinta kena fikir jugak pasal duit,i'm not really agree when people say 'duit tak penting', like u said Allah akn tolong kita tapi kalau kita tak usaha mcm mana rezeki tu nak dtg kat kita.
yes, get real people nowadays everything needs money contoh paling mudah nak masuk toilet pun kena bayar.kalau dh ada anak perbelanjaan untuk anak mcm pampers, susu n etc dh makin mahal,klu takde duit mcm mana nak survive? silap hari bulan bergaduh laki bini pasal duit dan mula terjadi adegan ungkit-mengungkit..
(sorry klu terpanjang, just bg pendapat je.mungkin ada yg kata 'kau takde bf boleh la ckp mcm tu'..act bukan pasal tu pun, my sis yg dh kawin pun ckp realiti sgt berbeza dgn apa yg kita tgk kat tv n apa yg kita baca dlm novel.again life is not a fairytale)

aizamia3 said...

bila dah betul2 bersedia.. teruskanlah dengan niat tu tapi kalau sebab nak ikut trend, tak usahlah.. bila kita dah kahwin, tanggungjawab tu baru bermula sebenarnya dan akan bertambah dari semasa ke semasa..